Encounters of a ToadKind
by AnotherNamelessAuthor
Summary: "Harry James Potter thought himself rather lucky in having avoided all forms of contact with the personified toad, generally known as Dolores Jane Umbridge." - Written for the OneShot Challenge in HPFC.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to JK Rowling.**

**Written for the One Shot Challenge in HPFC.**

**Prompts from nony0mous: Dolores Umbridge, Harry Potter, Dance Dance Revolution Machine.**

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**Encounter of a Toad-kind**

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After the _incident_ at the Ministry (which some ignorantly referred to as a break in – it was nothing in comparison to Gringotts, thank you very much!), in what would have been his seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry James Potter thought himself rather lucky in having avoided all forms of contact with the personified toad, generally known as Dolores Jane Umbridge. In fact quite often, after some idiot would ask him stupid questions about the words he had permanently etched on his right hand, he would find himself smiling as he thought back on how many years it have been since he had to see or interact with that _thing_.

Over the years of blissful separation from the demon woman it had become a favourite game of his and Ron's to think up bizarre, and usually degrading situation, that she maybe in now, what with having been disgraced and sacked for the ministry for gross incompetence, or something like that. Harry was sure she was off somewhere in Britain sucking up to those who were more powerful and torturing those she deemed less worth. Actually come to think about it she was probably the new warden at Azkaban. That was definitely her kind of scene. Ron on the other hand was convinced he had seen someone who looked remarkably like her, "She even had a stupid bow in her hair!" standing on one of London's many already overcrowded street corners. But no matter how much he insisted it, Harry just couldn't quite believe it. It wasn't the fact that she had sunk that low, oh no that he could comprehend. No what he couldn't believe is that anyone would actually want to be intimate with _that_, much less pay for the disturbing, mentally scarring experience.

However back to the point at hand, Harry Potter had not seen Dolores Umbridge in years, and that is why when he finally did cross paths with her again he was rather shocked. It is harder to say what shocked him most about the reunion, the setting they were in or the complete personality transplant she appeared to have undergone.

Now to understand how the two came to meet again, it is necessary to know that, due to his _"Hero complex_" as his best friends and beloved wife had nicknamed it, he had, after the end of the Second War, sort out his Aunt, Uncle and cousin. "I just want to know if they are ok! After this I'll never see them again." He would reply and claim in answer to his friend's protests. Yet as this is Harry Potter we are talking about it was never going to be that easy.

In the end after much yelling (on his Uncles part), screaming (on his aunts) and arguing (from his cousin) Harry had, surprisingly, struck up a sort of friendship with one Dudley Dursley. This basically translated as going out for a day every few months and _catching up_. As time went by Harry married Ginny and they procreated bringing into the world three riotous children. Therefore it was soon decided that the children would accompany Harry on his days out with Dudley, giving Ginny free time to "relax and unwind from the stresses of motherhood," or so she claimed. Harry was highly aware she spent these days shopping and spending his money. The day he encountered his most _beloved and treasured_ professor for the first time since the ministry _incident_ was one of these "Dudley days," as they had come to be known.

Harry, his cousin and his troop of brats, I mean beautiful and angelic offspring, were in central London in some game store looking at the new releases, or rather Dudley was. Harry was actually trying to keep a rather excited James and Albus from ruining the place, a near impossible feat to be sure. All it took was for Harry to divert his point of vision for a second and the two had disappeared.

"Oh bloody fantastic!" He muttered under his breath. "Back in a second Dudley! Can you keep an eye on Lily for me?"

"Yeah sure." His (still) whale sized relative answered, nodding.

"James? Albus? Where are you two?" He walked down the different aisles looking for his two runaway sons. At last he found them, next to a large video game machine which had a number of arrows and, what Harry assumed, were pressure pads. He was about to tell the two off for running away when a small cough to his left distracted him, (and by distracted I mean almost made him piss himself).

"Hem hem."

He froze, eyes widening. "Dear Merlin please let me be imagining it!" He did not turn around.

"Hem hem!" It came again, this time more pronounced. "Hem hem!" pause, "Can I help you there Sir?"

Slowly Harry turned around, his eyes focused on the ground, dreading what he would see if he looked straight ahead.

"Hem hem!"

Damn! He was going to have to look up now. Slowly he raised his eyes taking in, to his great relief, a black skirt and blue top of the store employees. Then however he looked into the face of the unwanted intruder.

"Did your son's want to test out the DDR Sir?" Asked the reincarnated toad, Dolores Umbridge, complete with pink bow in her hair.

Harry stood in shock for a second, unsure what was going on, whether he was dreaming or not.

"Well?" said the Umbridge lookalike, because there was no was it could be her, right?

"Erm... the DDR?" he asked rather stupidly.

"The Dance Dance Revolution machine... the thing behind you." She squeaked in her unnaturally high voice.

Harry quickly glanced over his shoulder at the machine he had been looking at before.

"No thanks." He edged away from her, "I actually have to be going."

"Of course Sir." She replied politely as Harry started to walk away from her. He managed to make it half way down the aisle before he spoke again. "Interesting choice of tattoo you went for." She said, gesturing towards his right hand.

Harry shook his head and moved more quickly to get away from the deranged woman.

At home that night Harry James Potter did something he had never thought he would do. He looked up the records of Dolores Jane Umbridge. That is where he saw it. Stamped across the top of the file in big, bold, red ink were two words, "MEMORY MODIFED." It appeared the ministry had wiped her memory.

"HA! Guess that was her." He thought. "Serves the bloody toad right!"

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**Authors Note – I really struggled to come up with something with the prompts given and I'm not sure what I think of this, so please let me know what you think. Please review! Thank you!**

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